The Summer

I was laid off on June 9, 2009...I won't get into the details about the organization I worked for and the drama of it all. However, I will say that I worked in Human Resources. We are like the captain of the ship. We take care of all the employees (passengers) and we are the last to go down with the ship!
Did I see it coming? yes. Was I concerned? no. Actually, I was secretly looking forward to it. Financially, I was prepared. Even my husband who worked in finance for many years was prepared! What I wasn't prepared for was how to jump feet first into stay-at-home Mommyville!! Nothing could have prepared me for that! especially on the brink of the summer. My once perfectly organized, perfectly planned days at work with my kiddos (6 year old triplet girls) happily marching off to a summer care program to have splash days and field trips completely crumbled in front of me. It would not have been financially responsible to keep my kids in an expensive daycare program with me now officially joining the rakes of the laid off. While a small part of me was relieved and actually looking forward to spending time with them...I was scared to death to think about how to fill every hour, every second, of every day with "quality" time. That is what I am suppose to do right?
Actually, the day after the layoff I rearranged the living furniture, cleaned out the hall closet, organized the pantry and emailed and called friends to share the news. A day or two later I was hosting a backyard swim/ice cream party with 30 or so of my closest stay-at home Mommy friends and their kiddos! They reassured me that this was the "right" thing to do and that they were happy to have me join the ranks. I couldn't help but feel guilty....why was this the "right" thing? was what I was doing all along the "wrong" thing? and why? and after all, it wasn't like I had a choice.